Why Our Family Is Downsizing to an Apartment (And Starting Over)

Sometimes the biggest changes in life don’t begin with excitement.

They begin with a quiet realization that something isn’t working anymore.

For our family, that realization didn’t happen overnight. It wasn’t one dramatic moment or a single financial decision that went wrong. It was a slow accumulation of small realizations—conversations late at night, looking at numbers that didn’t quite add up, and asking ourselves a question that felt both terrifying and freeing:

What if we started over?

That question is what eventually led our family of seven to make a decision most people would probably consider backwards.

We’re downsizing.

Not to a bigger home.

Not to something “better.”

We’re moving into an apartment.

And strangely enough, it feels like the first step toward building the life we actually want.

The Life We Thought We Were Supposed to Build

For most of our adult lives, we followed the script that many families do.

Work hard.

Build stability.

Provide for your kids.

Try to get ahead.

Like many families, we believed that if we just kept pushing forward, everything would eventually fall into place. A little more income, a little more stability, a little more breathing room.

But somewhere along the way, something shifted.

We realized we weren’t actually building freedom.

We were building pressure.

Bills.

Debt.

Responsibilities stacked on top of responsibilities.

And even though we were doing everything “right,” we still felt like we were constantly trying to catch up.

If you’ve ever looked at your finances and thought, How did we get here? — you’re not alone.

For us, that question became the beginning of a much bigger conversation.

When You Come From Families That Never Talked About Money

One of the biggest challenges we’ve had to face is that neither of us grew up learning much about money.

Not because our families didn’t care.

But because there simply wasn’t much to talk about.

When you grow up in households where money is tight, financial literacy often takes a back seat to survival. Bills get paid however they can. You do what you need to do to get through the month.

But long-term strategy?

Investing?

Intentional financial planning?

Those conversations rarely happen.

So like many adults, we stepped into our own lives trying to figure it all out as we went.

Student loans.

Car payments.

Credit cards.

The normal things that quietly stack up over time.

Before long, we realized we weren’t just juggling a few bills. We were carrying a financial weight that would take years to undo if we didn’t make some major changes.

That realization forced us to ask a difficult question:

Are we willing to live differently now so we can build something better later?

Choosing Margin Instead of Comfort

Downsizing wasn’t our first thought.

In fact, it felt like the opposite of progress.

Society tends to measure success in square footage.

Bigger homes.

More space.

More things.

But when we started really looking at our priorities, we realized that space wasn’t actually the thing we needed most.

What we needed was margin.

Margin in our finances.

Margin in our time.

Margin in our ability to say yes to opportunities that matter.

Right now, we don’t have that.

And the truth is, you can’t build freedom when every dollar already has a destination before it even hits your account.

So instead of stretching ourselves thinner trying to maintain a lifestyle we could barely sustain, we decided to do something different.

We decided to reset.

What Downsizing Actually Looks Like for Us

When people hear that a family of (now) five is moving into an apartment, they usually have one reaction:

“Wait… what?”

And honestly, that’s fair.

It’s not what most people expect.

Our new place will be smaller than what we’ve been used to. Chris and I will actually be turning the living room area into our bedroom so the kids can have the actual bedrooms.

Will it be tight?

Absolutely.

Will it require some creativity?

Definitely.

But here’s the surprising part:

Instead of feeling stressful, it feels strangely freeing.

Less space means less stuff.

Less stuff means less distraction.

And less distraction means we can focus on the things that actually matter.

The Bigger Vision Behind This Decision

Downsizing isn’t the end goal.

It’s the starting point.

Our family has some big dreams that require something we currently don’t have enough of: financial flexibility.

One of the biggest dreams we have is to eventually open our home for foster care.

If you’ve ever looked into foster care requirements, you know it often requires more than just a willing heart. It requires stability, time, and the ability to show up consistently for kids who need it most.

Right now, we’re not in the position to do that the way we’d want to.

But we can build toward it.

Downsizing gives us the opportunity to:

• Pay off debt faster
• Save intentionally
• Create breathing room in our budget
• Build a foundation for the future we want

This apartment isn’t the final destination.

It’s the training ground.

What Our Kids Think About All of This

One of the most important parts of this decision has been involving our kids in the conversation.

Because let’s be honest—downsizing impacts them too.

Our kids are in very different seasons of life.

Marc, our oldest, is 20 and serving in the Marines.

Natalie, 19, is currently living in New York chasing her dream of becoming an actress.

At home we still have Peter (14), Jack (12), and Lorelei (10).

Each of them has processed this transition in their own way.

But what’s been incredible to watch is how quickly they’ve understood something that took us years to figure out:

A home isn’t defined by the amount of space you have.

It’s defined by the people inside it.

And as long as we’re building something meaningful together, the square footage really isn’t the point.

The Reality of Starting Over

Let’s be clear about something.

Starting over isn’t glamorous.

There will be moments that feel uncomfortable.

Moments when we miss the convenience of more space.

Moments when we question whether we’re doing the right thing.

But growth almost always requires some level of discomfort.

You rarely build something new without first letting go of something familiar.

And if the last few years have taught us anything, it’s this:

Playing it safe doesn’t always lead to the life you want.

Sometimes the bold choice is the one that looks a little crazy from the outside.

Living Boldly. Building Intentionally. Loving Fully.

When we started talking about this blog and our YouTube channel, we kept coming back to three words that describe the kind of life we want to build as a family:

Living Boldly.
Building Intentionally.
Loving Fully.

Downsizing to an apartment might not look bold to everyone.

But for us, it is.

It’s choosing to stop pretending everything is fine.

It’s choosing to break financial patterns that have followed us for years.

It’s choosing to build something better for our kids—even if that means taking a step backwards first.

Because sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for your future…

is reset your present.

What Comes Next

Over the next few months, we’ll be sharing the entire journey here on the blog and on YouTube.

The downsizing process.

The budgeting.

The mistakes we make along the way.

The lessons we’re learning about money, family, and intentional living.

This isn’t a story about having everything figured out.

It’s a story about figuring things out in real time.

And if you’re also in a season of reevaluating your life, your finances, or your priorities…

You’re in the right place.

Welcome to our Lovely Little Mess.